As always, the Lord was in control. He is in all circumstances, whether trial or blessing. I began to...function. As most woman do. Well, about every two months, but more than never, so a miracle for me.
In October 2013 our favorite house accepted our offer, and we began making plans for our move. We decided to move as soon as Kevin found a new job. I broke the news to my students' parents and left another job due to a move. Story of my resume. Kevin found a job in December working for Ryder as a Supply Chain Engineer. We sold most of what we had and moved out over the course of two weekends, maybe three.
We had been trying to conceive for about 4 months. I'm not sure why I wasn't looking for a job yet. God is in control.
Though I was prepared for a long journey of trying to have children, and 4 months is absolutely NOTHING when it comes to most journeys of trying to conceive, the emotions of it really hit me in December. I remember sitting with my mother-in-law, making peanut butter balls to bring to the neighbors for Christmas, with tears streaming down my face the whole time thinking of my unmet desire rather than the joy of this family tradition. I knew it was wrong, but I felt resentful toward Kevin for making me wait when I knew this would be a long process. I had waited 2 years just to get the green light to start trying, and now I was having to wait even more.
Kevin and I decided against gifts that year, and everything felt so empty. My womb. Gift boxes. Spare bedrooms in our house. At times, my arms.
I trusted, prayed and cried.
I remember one day driving home from spending time with my mom and sisters in Orange County. December 20th, 2013. My seat belt felt tight and my tummy felt big. I thought maybe I should start running again. A car in front of me stopped quickly and I felt a sense of protection that was more intense than anything I'd ever felt before as I slammed on my brakes. I can't explain the mama bear sensation that came over me.
I determined I would take a pregnancy test when I got home.
In October 2013 our favorite house accepted our offer, and we began making plans for our move. We decided to move as soon as Kevin found a new job. I broke the news to my students' parents and left another job due to a move. Story of my resume. Kevin found a job in December working for Ryder as a Supply Chain Engineer. We sold most of what we had and moved out over the course of two weekends, maybe three.
We had been trying to conceive for about 4 months. I'm not sure why I wasn't looking for a job yet. God is in control.
Though I was prepared for a long journey of trying to have children, and 4 months is absolutely NOTHING when it comes to most journeys of trying to conceive, the emotions of it really hit me in December. I remember sitting with my mother-in-law, making peanut butter balls to bring to the neighbors for Christmas, with tears streaming down my face the whole time thinking of my unmet desire rather than the joy of this family tradition. I knew it was wrong, but I felt resentful toward Kevin for making me wait when I knew this would be a long process. I had waited 2 years just to get the green light to start trying, and now I was having to wait even more.
Kevin and I decided against gifts that year, and everything felt so empty. My womb. Gift boxes. Spare bedrooms in our house. At times, my arms.
I trusted, prayed and cried.
I remember one day driving home from spending time with my mom and sisters in Orange County. December 20th, 2013. My seat belt felt tight and my tummy felt big. I thought maybe I should start running again. A car in front of me stopped quickly and I felt a sense of protection that was more intense than anything I'd ever felt before as I slammed on my brakes. I can't explain the mama bear sensation that came over me.
I determined I would take a pregnancy test when I got home.
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