A few years ago, I heard for the first time a friend of mine use the term "funemployed". I've never experienced it.
The last 6 months have been difficult geographically for my work life. I graduated in June, moved from San Luis Obispo to South Orange Country from June to August before we got married. After the wedding, we lived in Atascadero from September to early December before moving to Redondo Beach. That's three moves in just under 6 months.
I was so blessed to find a job teaching a Pre-Kindergarten class as just a summer gig, and found work this fall as a preschool teacher and nanny while we were in Atascadero. My experience in LA has been more frustrating.
Everything I want to do requires a Masters, and Kevin and I have done the math, prayed, and both mutually agree this is just not a wise decision right now. What I desire even more than my masters is to be a stay at home mother in about 5 years, and the cost of grad school for just a couple years of work doesn't pay off in this short time before motherhood.
I'm allowing myself to be picky in finding a job, and have even turned one down. I'm really looking for something I can keep for the next 5 years until we start having children, and I want it to be the right job.
Today, I hit my breaking point. Boredom, purposelessness, loneliness, and guilt of not contributing financially weighed heavily on me. I felt compelled to start journaling about it, and began by reading these verses, each one a huge encouragement to me in similar past times:
Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.
I began soaking up the truth that the exercising, cleaning, baking, cooking, and decorating that I'm filling my time with should be viewed as service to the Lord. I remembered to be encouraged that it is the Lord's work to prepare good works for me to do, and He will make it clear how to walk in them, and I was reminded that there is nothing I can do to take the Lord's purpose for this time away.
This is not just a purposeless waiting period for motherhood. There is a purpose in the next 5 years that I don't yet see, and if I just fast forward through this time to get to being a mommy, I'll miss something the Lord desires to be done in my life. I need to continue to be patient.
Just as I was letting all this settle in my mind, the phone rang. It was a local professional nanny agency that I have recently become a member of. They called to inform me that not only do I have an interview this week with a family that sounds perfect, and is looking for someone just like me, but there's a family with a temporary need, and I start tomorrow.
The Lord is so good. In just a short time of being patient and waiting upon him, I've become so hopeless, but His purpose never left.
I'll keep you posted on how everything goes, and in the meantime, enjoy this encouraging song about finding God's purpose in whatever you do.